i still just want to pee alone: on sale now!

Hey, loyal so-and-sos! What’s up? How you be? How’s it hanging? And other dumb expressions!

So listen. I’m not sure how often you guys check out my sidebar, but the observant among you may have noticed that a new badge has recently appeared. A badge that looks a little something like this:

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That’s right! I’ve had the amazing good fortune to be included in I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone, the third installment in the national best-selling series of anthologies published by Throat Punch Media.

The previous two anthologies in this series have sold over 40,000 copies to date, and boast over 500 reviews on Amazon with an average rating of 4.5 stars. Additionally, the flagship anthology I Just Want to Pee Alone just hit the New York Times Best Sellers list in February 2015.

I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone has 40 contributors with a social media reach of 1.2 million fans on Facebook. Many of the contributors to this book are award-winning writers who have appeared in such places as: The New York Times Best Sellers list, The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, LifetimeMoms, NickMom, TODAY Parents, Babble/Disney, In the Powder Room, and the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop.

AND IT’S ON SALE TODAY!

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Also, just In case you were wondering exactly WHO is included in this wonderful anthology, here is a list of the awesome collaborators. They are some seriously talented and funny women, and I highly recommend you check each of them out when you can:

Jen Mann of People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Bethany Kriger Thies of Bad Parenting Moments

Kim Bongiorno of Let Me Start By Saying

Alyson Herzig of The Shitastrophy

JD Bailey of Honest Mom

Kathryn Leehane of Foxy Wine Pocket

Suzanne Fleet of Toulouse and Tonic

Nicole Leigh Shaw of Nicole Leigh Shaw, Tyop Aretist

Meredith Spidel of The Mom of the Year

Rebecca Gallagher of Frugalista Blog

Rita Templeton of Fighting off Frumpy

Darcy Perdu of So Then Stories

Christine Burke of Keeper of The Fruit Loops

Amy Flory of Funny Is Family

Robyn Welling of Hollow Tree Ventures

Sarah del Rio of est. 1975

Amanda Mushro of Questionable Choices in Parenting

Jennifer Hicks of Real Life Parenting

Courtney Fitzgerald of Our Small Moments

Lola Lolita of Sammiches and Psych Meds

Victoria Fedden of Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds

Keesha Beckford of Mom’s New Stage

Stacia Ellermeier of Dried-on Milk

Ashley Allen of Big Top Family

Meredith Bland of Pile of Babies

Harmony Hobbs of Modern Mommy Madness

Janel Mills of 649.133: Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of

Kim Forde of The Fordeville Diaries

Stacey Gill of One Funny Motha

Beth Caldwell of The Cult of Perfect Motherhood

Sarah Cottrell of Housewife Plus

Michelle Back of Mommy Back Talk

Tracy Sano of Tracy on the Rocks

Linda Roy of elleroy was here

Michelle Poston Combs of Rubber Shoes In Hell

Susan Lee Maccarelli of Pecked To Death By Chickens

Vicki Lesage of Life, Love, and Sarcasm in Paris

Kris Amels of Why, Mommy?

Mackenzie Cheeseman of Is there cheese in it?

Tracy DeBlois of Orange & Silver

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Now, if you’ve made it all the way down here, you are truly a loyal so-and-so, and I think for that you deserve an excerpt from the story I wrote from the book. It’s called “Here’s Mommy!” and it’s a heartwarming piece about how I locked myself in my garage and had to bust down the door with a hammer to get to my abandoned 2-year-old son. Yes, really.

I knew I couldn’t smash the entire door down with just a hammer, or even bust a hole in it big enough to climb through. My only real hope was to create a gap wide enough to stick my hand through, reach the knob lock, and set myself free.

I pressed my face against the door and called to my son. “Honey,” I said, “Honey, it’s very important that you move as far away as you can right now. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Mommy,” replied a tiny, anxious voice. I waited a moment, listened very intensely, and heard my son go absolutely nowhere.

I tried again. “Sweetheart, I’m serious. Go sit in front of the television or on the couch. Mommy will be inside in just a moment.”

“Okay,” peeped my son, who continued to stay right where he was. Even at two, he was no dummy. He knew something was up, something sensational and possibly even dangerous, and he didn’t want to miss it. After some more cajoling, I finally convinced him to move back about six feet. That was as far away as he was going to go, and I just had to accept it.

I took a deep breath. I raised my hammer. Then, squelching the urge to yell “Here’s Mommy!” in a totally psychotic voice, I brought the face of the hammer down on the door as hard as I possibly could.

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To find out what happened next, pick up your copy of I Still Just Want to Pee Alone today!

If you haven’t already done so, consider following est. 1975 on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest! I add fresh, hilarious material every single day.

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21 Replies to “i still just want to pee alone: on sale now!”

    1. AS DO YOU, MY FRIEND! Sorry I haven’t dropped by your blog lately… I haven’t dropped by ANYONE’s blog lately. Are you on Triberr? I could put you on auto-share…

    1. It would be EVEN BIGGER but I’m a sidebar neat freak so if it doesn’t fit the look, it doesn’t get on. That’s how you know you’re OCD… you’ll pass up promoting yourself to avoid making your sidebar too ugly. ANYWAY! Congratulations to you on the book release as well! And your AWESOME new books That’s Paris and Petite Confessions!

  1. I loved your essay (admitting I skipped to it)! Who doesn’t have an axe??
    So wish I had been part of this group. Such fabulous writers involved. Congratulations to all of you. And thanks for giving me a weekend of laughs.

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