nothing’s sacred

So this is the thing about being my friend. If you’re my friend, and you send me a hilarious text or instant message, there’s an almighty good chance it might end up here for all the world to see. Because writing original blog posts is hard and I need to capitalize on other people’s wit I just think it’s unfair to give short shrift to my friends’ collective comedic genius when I could be sharing it with all of you loyal so-and-sos.

I’m always thinking of others like that.

Onward!

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So I COULDN’T FUCKING POOP was having some bowel problems right after my recent surgery. Here is Kelly Fox of Foxy Wine Pocket being all kinds of supportive:

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But not to worry! After an excruciating TEN days of constipation, a poop did finally arrive! So I sent this text to my husband:

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Unfortunately, resuming what I’ll call “the back door call of nature” did not end all of my post-operative woes. After about two weeks, my episiotomy stitches started to dissolve/come loose and my perineum became really irritated. I called my doctor and left a message, but to no avail:

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Then My Girl T decided to join in:

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My sister is always good for a laugh. Here she is with a “parenting pro tip” I think we can all get behind:

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Here she is weighing in on “The Great Eyebrow Debate: Plucking v. Waxing”:

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And no est. 1975 Social Media Roundup (phrase courtesy of The Hollywood Sigh) would be complete without My Girl T and her random non sequiturs:

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Oh! While I’m posting screenshots of Facebook stuff, I should share with you that est. 1975’s Facebook page was lucky enough to have its first troll this month. I think I handled it pretty well:

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Well, that’s about it for letting my friends write my blog post for me this little peek into my social media universe. I’ll let Kelly Fox of Foxy Wine Pocket say my goodbye for me:

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If you haven’t already done so, consider following est. 1975 on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest! I add fresh, hilarious material every single day.

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37 Replies to “nothing’s sacred”

      1. Ooohhhh, a female troll? You win the prize then :) Funny that the only letter that wasn’t capitalized was I. Dumbass. Her loss. You are hilarious and she must have just been a lame-ass.

  1. My Girl T’s – I like when I roll over my skirt in my chair and stand up naked

    Darlin’, I’m still laughing!
    Sarah, I remember thinking I was going to be permanently blocked up after surgery and even farting hurt! Then when I finally did poop, it was like milk duds – really stale, hard milk duds! Oh. My. God. Thank goodness for fiber.
    Hope you’re better every day, sweetie. 😀

  2. I love how trolls can’t just leave, they have to TELL you they’re leaving. “I’m going! Watch me! I’m walking out the door! Right now! Are you watching? Not that I care. Watch me! I hate you!” I’ve already poured my second glass of wine, troll. Over it.

  3. Oh damn. I. Can’t. Breathe!!!

    My husband is crying laughing at me, laughing at this in bed!!!

    1. It’s never happened to me because I haven’t worked in an office for eight years and I had no maxi skirts or dresses back then… but it WOULD have happened eventually.

    1. I’ve never had that problem before! I thought she was crazy or just forgot to put deodorant on in one pit. I’m sure she’ll be glad to know she’s not alone. And yes, they are a great time 😉

    2. I think its because my right arm gets more of a workout. That’s what I’m going with anyway.

  4. This was hilarious. I wish I had some funny freaking friends and family members (I was on an F roll there) to inspire me. Luckily I have blogs like yours to do the trick! And congratulations on your Troll! I’m dying for someone to call me a stupid face doo-doo head or whatever that person called you. 😉

  5. It doesn’t sound like a big deal … what’s a little constipation? Until you can’t go ……….. aaarrgggg! Those little milk duds just don’t really do the trick, either! lol

    Thanks for sharing all these funny quips!

  6. Haha. Sorry for your bathroom woes. I think you’re providing a public service by bringing these matters into the open! Speaking for my 3 1/2 yr old I can say there’s nothing funnier than pooping and nothing sadder than when you can’t, except when your butt hurts. Sidenote: I love the word “scatological.” That bears repeating. Scatological. Good day and good fortune in all your endeavors, scatological and otherwise.

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