more husbandisms

Me: “Why were you Googling jobs at our gym?”
Him: “I wanted to know if they would give me a job as a fatass.”

Him: “You’re not watching the Oscars.”
Me: “Nope.”
Him: “Why not?”
Me: “I never watch the Oscars.”
Him: “And that’s why I married you.”

Me: “I really think I can lose weight if I make it part of Lent.”
Him: “Why?”
Me: “Because…”
Him: “…you’re afraid of your grandma?”

Me: “This is going to be a long forty days.”
Him: “What?”
Me: “Of us giving up dining out for Lent.”
Him: “WHAT?”
Me: “Is there a problem?”
Him: “I thought it was FOUR days.”

I throw my bra across the room and it hits the doorknob, circles it and hangs there.
Him: “Sports.”

Him: “Look at the snow. It looks like that one Disney movie. Frosted.”

Him (searching YouTube): “Fucking people. I don’t care about your cats.”
Me: “What are you looking for?”
Him: “That show Eight out of Ten Cats. And all it’s coming up with is these dumb people and their cats.”
Me: “Oh.”
Him: “Oops. My bad. Sorry, people.”
Me: “What now?”
Him: “I just realized I was searching for Eight out of “Eh” Cats.”

12 Replies to “more husbandisms”

    1. He told me later that he actually can’t claim ownership of that one. He has a coworker who… uh, isn’t very coordinated… who says it every time he does something clumsy. Accidentally trips over something? “Sports.” Tries to throw something in a garbage can and misses? “Sports.” Tries to catch something, fumbles, and drops it on the floor? “Sports.” Bahaha!

  1. I’m fairy certain that our hubbies may be somehow related. Or maybe it’s just that all men end up thinking like this from loss of oxygenated blood flowing to their brains. Because their boxer/briefs are too tight.
    Yep, that’s probably it!

      1. Don’t worry about it. I haven’t been to church since my youngest Confirmation a year ago.

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