christmas time is heeeere

Over the years, my husband, sister and I have developed a Christmas coping mechanism tradition in which we sing the first line of the song “Christmas Time is Here” from A Charlie Brown Christmas whenever any stressful, dramatastic, or potentially holiday-ruining bullshit starts to go down.

Just in case you need a refresh on the first line of “Christmas Time is Here,” it is in fact:


Remember now? If you don’t, just listen to the Christmas station for 5 seconds. It’ll come on. There’s lounge piano and drum brushes. You’ll recognize it.

Anyway, here are just some of the things that have prompted me to burst into song already this year:

  1. My cat deciding that the absolute best place to pee is “under the Christmas tree” and doing so repeatedly. Resolutely. Relentlessly.
  2. Being afflicted with a crippling backache after wrapping roughly 87 million presents, only to then get into an argument with my husband about whose responsibility it is to wrap the gifts he got for his best friend’s kids.
  3. Getting a horrible stomachache from drinking too much boozy eggnog. In my pajamas. In bed. By myself.
  4. Having to shove my lumpy curvaceous figure into a sausage casing shape-wear every time I put on dress clothes for a holiday event.
  5. My father announcing he would not being attending the Christmas festivities because most of his teeth up and fell out his head.

So. Stressful holiday moments may make my husband, sister and I sing “Christmas Time is Here,” but what do you guys do to cope? Exercise? Nap? Boozy eggnog? Comment below. Also feel free to tell me what’s causing you to break out into your version of “Christmas Time is Here.” I’m listening.

10 Replies to “christmas time is heeeere”

  1. Tagged fat

    What the hell. But, eggnog. Meanwhile I’ve been drinking it by the 2 liter since childhood, and not once did I look at the nutritional panel on it. Mother of god…

  2. Spending Christmas Eve crashed out on the bathroom floor because the third stomach flu of the season has arrived. Christmas time is heeeeeere!

  3. I have not had even a sip of eggnog in more than 25 years. Maybe 30. There is no excuse for there to be a ‘nutritional label’ on eggnog as there is not a fucking ounce or gram of nutrition in it. And what makes me break into my horribly off tune rendition of that song…

    Getting a tree because the other people in the house want one and then being stuck decorating it, watering it, and the taking it all down. By myself. CHRISTMAS TIME IS HEREEEE

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